Dusting off the keyboard

I'm sitting here with my glass of milk, listening to The Almost, and writing about the fact the I plan on re-starting my blog back up again. It's been a while, and I miss having an outlet to write out my spiritual struggles/praises, and my day to day stuff. It was kinda fun, and whether anyone read it or not, it was nice to write it down. It has been a blessing to be able to write things down and then go back and see what I was dealing with or excited about and what caught my fancy at that particular time.

So, I think I shall resume at some point this week. Thank you, and goodnight!

Heartbeat

God is so awesome! We are blessed everyday from Him, even on our worst days, and we can sometimes not even realize it.
I was struggling through, having a hard time praying one night recently, and I was asking God to basically tell me, or show me, that He really really does love me, even amongst my struggles and wrestling I gave Him. I was feeling confused about a lot of things that night and just needed some clarity. He showed me all I needed to know. I realized that I can feel His love for me anytime I want it, anytime I doubt myself, or feel like crap. Whenever I feel lonely, or unworthy, or I don't know what's going on, He still loves me.
I realized that we all have a steady reminder. A perfect reminder in fact. The Bible says that God sustains us, and that He keeps us going for as long as He wants. We are in His hands, all in perfect synchronization to His perfect plan of course. God holds us together, and fills us when we are hungry, and answers the door when we knock.
What hit me when I was praying, was that my own heartbeat was a testifying proclamation of God's love. It shows that He is keeping us going, keeping the blood flowing in us, even when we are not at our best. He declares that we are worth it to Him, that He wants us to keep up, stay strong, and most importantly, that He still loves us over all that we do against Him. We can deny him so many times, but He will never do that to us. He is unchanging and everlasting.
All you have to do, when confusion and fear takes hold in your mind, and when you feel like you can't go on, is to just put your hand on your chest, and feel His love keeping you going, beating away at His command, because you are worth it to Him, the God of everything. :)

Only You, Lord

I recently stumbled a bit, and shifted my focus from God on to myself. It stinks. Thankfully it wasn't long lived. I got myself re-focused and am praising God for His wonderful love. :) This song is a great prayer, and I just wanted to share it cause it's so awesome! It's called "Only You"

Take my heart, I Lay it down
At the feet of you whose crowned
Take my life, I’m letting go
I lift it up to You who’s throned

And I will worship You, Lord
Only You, Lord
And I will bow down before You
Only You Lord

Take my fret, take my fear
All I have, I’m leaving here
Be all my hopes, be all my dreams
You're my delights, be my everything

And I will worship You, Lord
Only You, Lord
And I will bow down before You
Only You Lord

And It’s just you and me here now
Only you and me here now

You should see the view
When it’s only You

Surrender

Wow, I had a wake-up call this morning. This pit I've been in for the past three weeks has seemed to have persisted and not let up. This has led to me being more and more confused, doubtful, and just not a happy dude. It had led me to really shake in doubt and become scared. I was questioning myself, and my salvation, and whether or not I was even a part of God's plan anymore. Doubts and confusion were all over me and it was utterly terrible.
I had had glimpses of sorta waking up and snapping out of it, and that was at one point when I wrote the previous post, but I quickly got down again and felt empty once more. I was still not enjoying anything and I had slowed in my prayers and felt like they were going nowhere.
But God is faithful, and He puts us through trials to teach us and strengthen us. Praise God for that! It occurred to me, while in this pit, that I had barely been reading my Bible. This should have been a bit of an obvious problem to me, but through my walk, I had sorta used the Bible as a reference, or like a guide book. Never actually reading it through that much. And I had done ok, spiritually my walk seemed fine for a while. But I believe that this shake over I've gone through was a way of God sorta saying, "Okay Dave, time to actually start reading my Word, and start to learn now. So, get to it!" And it's been a wonderful solution to my doubts. Ever since I have, I've felt my spirit sorta begin to breath again, like life had returned. It's kinda weird but it's an awesome feeling. I needed to surrender over what I wanted to do, and how I was feeling, and just listen to, and look at what God has done for me.
Surrendering is so awesome. God is sovereign, and He rules over everything we go through. Even though we can sometimes feel dead and far away from Him, He is so never far from us. He brings us through things to build us up, and He never ever breaks us down. He knows what we need, and He cares for us with so much love.
He can, and will test our faith. And in the end, it's him that gets us through the rough times in life. Praise Him! :D

Rescue is Coming

Man, nothing better than making through life's tunnels. I recently went through about a two to three week stretch of what felt like spiritual loneliness. It was utterly terrible. I couldn't find joy in anything I did. The light was dimmed in my life, and I felt that I was beyond eternal salvation. Most of the time, at church and when praying, it felt like I was just going through the motions and my prayers hit deaf ears. I felt numb and lost. It was like the spiritual part of me was abandoned.
Well, I wanna encourage anyone who ever goes through times like that, when you're full of doubt, depression, and despair, to just hang on. Hold on to the hope that He will rescue you. Hope is the greatest thing we have, and through it we can spring a new in Him. I found that the simple belief and hope that He reigns above me and it all, and has plans for me whether I accept them or not was strong enough to knock me out of my lameness. It's all about losing yourself and letting God run the show. Giving oneself up is one of the greatest things anyone can ever do.
Ya can't run from Him, cause that gets ya nowhere. I just want to encourage anyone that if you feel trapped, or doubtful, or lost, to be strong and full of joy, because either way, you got the only perfect thing that has ever existed controlling and delivering your life. Rescue is on it's way. Praise Him, glory in the highest! :)

Got the Direction...Now To Find the Path

As promised, I was going to talk about what I'm looking to do here in the coming yearish area of my life. It's been a revolving paradox of turns and twists so far but here is where I'm at currently;
A year ago I was taking steps towards becoming an entomologist. I had wanted to get into that for quite sometime, since I was real young. I had some things working towards it, including a PHD entomologist who had been tutoring me.
But as I progressed, photography began to grow as a desire I had for some sort of career/hobby. It came to pass that I was rather torn between the two. I couldn't makeup my mind as to which one I wanted to pursue.
But recently, through much prayer and a few knocks on the head, God showed me how much I could grow in Him instead. For a few years now, my passion for playing and being a part of worship music has grown and grown. Up to this point, it's become sort of a spiritual channel for me to get on-tune with the Lord. It's great! And though I have wanted to do the other things for a while, they look dim now when compared to rocking for God in some shape or form. Deep down, I just want to serve Him the best I can. Cause in the long run, He's all there is to live for.
I feel that God wants me to be in some part of His eternal story. I want to be part of it, and I wanna rock for Him as much as I can. I feel evangelism in some shape or form is where I belong.
Please keep me in prayer. Prayer for direction and wisdom. There are days where I feel like it's all coming together, and days where I feel like a crazy person who has lost his blessed mind under a rock somewhere. Thanks for everything and God bless! :)

Spring Is Here

So with spring officially here and no more snow, I decided to throw out some new pictures I've taken over the past month. I'm really enjoying taking pictures and am having fun with it. Whether a career or just something on the side, photography has really caught my eye. Though it seems like I'm not gonna be going into photography for the long run.(I'll talk about that next time.)

Here are some of my favorites from my latest ventures.

My dog, Oliver

The cats, Rachel, and Herbert
Waterfall in Laconia

Awesome structure thing I found near the waterfall

Some cool tracks

Puddles

What better to close with my nutty bro, Sam
(Picture taken by Beth Crandall)

Soli Deo Gloria

Of all the things in my life, amazing or painful, You Lord, are the most precious. You reach into my life and speak to my soul as you direct the ways I go. You are The Eternal Story, the Holy One, and You fulfill all my needs. You forgive me and cleanse me over and over. You wash away my sins with a mighty wave, never to see them again. You love me beyond anything, and You cherish me for who I am. Your love goes further than anything, and by your everlasting grace, I am saved. I am held back from death, and instead lifted up and brought into Your Holy place.
Time passes, and everywhere I go, it leads to You. To say that the world cries out the evidence of Your name is an understatement. You are everywhere. The universe declares your majesty, by night and day. I will not worry, for You control the world, you have the blueprints to my life and You know all that I am, and all that I'm going through. I will wait on you Lord.
I ask for Your direction, and Your guidance. I pray that I would not stray from Your word, but instead be built up by it. I ask that I would glorify You with everything I do. It's all about You. I pray for protection against my enemies, and wisdom to reach out to them.
Lord, I am so unworthy. I tremble. Your majesty is beyond words and I lift You up with the utmost glory. I want to lose everything for You. You are worth it all. Nothing else matters. You are all I ever needed, and You fill me up. You are God, and You rock my life. Praise You!
Soli Deo Gloria! Amen.

Unfailing Grace

God's grace is so good!
I recently have sorta been knocked on the head with it though. Sometimes, I go through times where I wonder if God really does forgive me for my sins, whether I'm even worth anything to Him. I feel as though He is there for anyone else, except me. Leading me to feel alone, and unworthy(Though we are unworthy of His love. Glory to Him for giving it anyway!). And though the obvious truth is that He is there for me, I almost unknowingly become blind to it. I bring God down to a level as to where I imagine He is a God that breaks His promises of total forgiveness. And when I do that, I struggle, and I feel distant from Him.
This then leads to confusion, and a more increased feeling of aloneness. I become numb to the obvious fact that He is there, whether I want Him or not. I push Him away even though it's the last thing I want to do.
But thanks to his constant reminding, and patience with me, He reveals to me His love, and how much He gives me in spite of my sin. His patience is unrivaled! He sees me continue to fall, lie, and just plain be so unworthy, and yet He forgives, and forgets, and just reminds me of how much He loves me. And man, that goes a long way. I know I'm bound to fall again in the future, but these experiences help to remind me, and get me back on track.
This leaded me to realize something. I'm blown away by the fact of how often we live our lives oblivious to the grace that is placed on us. What honestly is stopping God from throwing us all into Hell and starting over? What are we really worth? What have we done to earn His favor? The answer is nothing. We sin so much, and in such terrible ways. Yet, by His grace, and love for us, we live on. He has made us, and although we go against Him by our very nature, He blesses us, and gives us so much more than we deserve. It really is an incredible thing. Humbling to say the least. How can we boast of anything? We don't deserve a thing, let alone life itself.
However he loves us, and He fights for us. He is there when we need Him, and He is there when we don't think we need Him. It's unfailing grace, and unfailing love, and He has given it to us freely. With open arms He accepts us as we are, washing us and making us new again.
For that, I follow Him with a humble heart, understanding that there isn't anything I can do that will turn His love. Knowing that He has the blueprints for my entire life in the palm of His hand, and He remains the great Author of our lives forever. Amen.

Hallelujah, to the Lord of Heaven and Earth

My church recently started playing the song 'God of Wonders' during our worship session. I really got into the song, and quickly learned it on the drums. Coincidentally, we just finished Family Life's The Truth Project, and they incorporated the song with a cool video. I liked it and happened to stumble on it on Youtube. Enjoy. :D

The Pale Blue Planet

Yesterday I had the opportunity to watch a DVD called 'Indescribable' with my Youth Group. It was incredible.
It took the example of a vast huge universe created by God, and truly put in context. Sure, I figured the vacuum of space was wicked big and insurmountable. But, this movie showed me how much there is, and how much more there is. Ugh, it hurts my head thinking about it, but it's great at the same time.
One particular portion of the video caught my eye, when it showed a picture taken by Voyager 1. What happened was, when the spacecraft was drifting out of reach of our control from here on earth, the NASA dudes had Voyager 1 turn around for one last series of shots. It took sixty consecutive pictures as it spanned across all of where it had come from. One of the pictures, labeled The pale blue planet was beamed back, across space, from the spacecraft to Earth. And it really struck me. Here it is.
What appears to be black space with sun rays bouncing off of the spacecraft is actually a lot more. It's hard to see, but in the farthest right ray of sun, there is a tiny tiny blue dot in the middle of the light, It's earth, taken from over 3 billion miles away.
This is an enlarged shot, showing the bright spec, suspended in the light. What hit me, was how, deep deep in space, a piece of machinery was able to capture a picture of Earth, showing how small it really is, and how unimportant it is. That although so many lives, wars, people, and events have transpired in the history of our entire existence, we are nothing but a small pixel in an image so vast.
I was so taken aback by the thought, that after I got home from the movie, I raced out and got more and more information on the picture. It fascinated me so much. This picture should define how we live our lives in Christ.
All sin is rooted in selfishness, and doing things for ourselves. But how the heck can we even dare boast of ourselves, and think of sinning when in reality, and all honesty, we are barely even a blip in space. How can we dare betray His name? In His awesome glory? Yet, we all sin, and we are all truly pathetic creatures. Even on our small pebble in the sky, barely visible, we spit on the name of God and defy him with everything we are.
But, what took me the most, was that even in our bitter defiance, he rains down a beam of golden light on us. He came and died for us, giving us a chance to live with Him forever. The whole universe declares His glory, day in and day out, never ceasing. But we are corrupted by sin. And us, being basically the most rebellious thing in His creation(Yet the most precious to Him) are covered by His love. Wow. It just fell upon me last night.
The fact that even in our sin, our selfishness, our insignificantness in space as a whole, we are the most important thing to Him. That picture only more clearly clarified that for me, and I'm thankful for it. Praise God! :D

How It Should Have Ended

Sort of stumbled on this group of dudes that make these videos and comics. They make little short films on how movies "Should have ended." It's great, and I found them wicked funny.
http://www.howitshouldhaveended.com

Spiritual Slump

Lately, it seems I've either been under an attack from Satan, or I'm doing something that God is trying to show me, thus putting me through a trial. Could be both. I'm not sure what else to call it, but it's like I'm in a spiritual slump.
My prayer life has been harder to keep up with, and seems to be more of a burden, I'm not as aware, and everything I do or go through seems distorted and hazy. I get rather depressed as well. I'm inclined to think Satan is after me, cause it's an attack that would keep me from uplifting things I need to be in prayer for. I also get a feeling of being lost, and distant from Him. It's weird, and sort of imposes a feeling of heaviness. It's hard to explain.
If I could get prayer for it, that would be awesome. I dunno what's up, but It's starting to wear on me and slow me down. It happens ever once in a while, hard to say when, but it tends to last for about a week sometimes. Thanks muchly.

Wonder Of The World

Over the past year, I really have grown to love worship music. Mostly because it has become a kind of Spiritual getaway for me. I can just blast songs that just give it all to God, and they help me to communicate to Him in a way.
Lately, the band that really has helped me grow and connect with the Lord is the band call Rush Of Fools. My friend, Mike, got me into 'em and I haven't stopped listening to them. I posted one of their music videos many posts ago and am posting their newest video to share the awesomeness. The song is called 'Wonder of the World." It's the title of their new album. It's not my favorite song, but it's got a great message.

Season End

The Patriots missed the playoffs because of one more loss to an AFC opponent than our rival, the Dolphins. That's the only thing that separated the Patriots from their sixth consecutive playoff birth. As painful as missing the playoffs are, you can't be disappointed with the season. Going 11-5 is very impressive for the conditions we were under; injuries, improved division, lack of experience. These things all would usually drag a team down under, and not even be in contention for the playoffs. That just goes to show how good the Patriots are, under Belichick, and the players that surround the franchise.
The Pats are now surrounded with many questions. How fast will Brady recover from his injury? What is Matt Cassel's future with Patriots? Who will retire, and who will stay? Who will be traded, and how will the Pats approach the draft? A lot of these questions will be answered in the coming months, but until then, Patriot fans will have to watch the playoffs without their home team in the mix. An unusual feeling to say the least.
But in all the confusion that is the off season, there are some definite things I think will happen that I would like to point out.
1-Randy Moss has at least another year left on his contract.
2-Wes Welker is signed with the Pats through 2011.
3-The Patriots will not allow snowmen to be built on the field next year, while in mid-game.
4.-The Patriots have a game in London next year against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, thus suggesting we play that whole division. (Tampa, New Orleans, Carolina, and Atlanta)
5-Brady will not be traded to another team for draft picks, as many fans have suggested.
6-The Patriot's coaching staff may look a bit different with Josh McDaniel's and Scott Pioli's contracts being up.

That said, I think the Patriots will be ready to storm back, and win the division crown next year. For now, we must all watch the playoffs Patriotless. But I find the off season a fun thing to watch and to be able to see how the team will look for next season.

Perfectly Jealous

Recently in youth group, the fact that God, is a jealous God, came up. It really struck me, because I 'knew' He was a jealous God, after all, I read it a thousand thousand times. But, I really got hit with it the other day. A common question, is that how can God be a jealous God, if He commands us to avoid jealousy, and it is cast into a negative light. I was confused about this, personally, for a while, until the other night.
If someone were to take away something from another dude, when it was rightfully the dude's to begin with, would it be right for the person who was robbed of to be jealous and concerned? Even angry at the person that stole from him? Of course it would, and that anger would be justified and granted.
However, it IS wrong for a person to covet, and become jealous of something that is rightfully another's. That is were the sin lies, and what God commands against. Jealousy over other people's possessions is evil, and sinful.
Now when you look back at how God is a jealous God, it all becomes slightly clearer. God is jealous for us, when we fall in to sin. He desires that wicked awesome relationship with us, and that is slashed when we sin. That is when God becomes jealous. But the best thing is, if ya look further into it, it shows just how much God loves us. He wants a relationship with us so badly, he wants to know us and help us. Praise God for His jealousy! Makes me wonder if that's why He is so merciful to forgive us as much as He does. Just think how pitiful we as sinful creatures are, and the ruler and creator of this entire gianormous universe and all the little atoms that make it up, forgives beings like us, for ruining it all time and time again. And He perfectly restores us, making us white as snow. How awesome is He? Man, it just blows my mind.

Week 14-Squeezing Out Of Seattle

The Patriots played a game that should have been an easy swipe-through victory. Instead, they had to play a hard-fought, pad-breaking battle to barely pull out a victory, 24-21.
The Seattle Seahawks, who are out of the playoff race, has nothing really to play for, except to ruin other teams' playoff hopes. They gave the Pats are run, leading the game until the last two minutes. The Patriots struggled defensively, with older linebackers filling in, including newly signed Junior Seau, and Rosevelt Colvin. Both played without a full week of practice, which just shows how low the Pats are for depth in the linebacker field. The Pats also had to start a rookie at cornerback.
Quarterback, Matt Cassel continued to show more improvement, completing twelve passes to Wes Welker.
As far as the playoff outlook goes, the Patriots chances got a hair better. With the divisional leading Jets taking a second straight loss, the Patriots and Jets are tied at 8-5. But, however, the Dolphins have won four straight away games and have also tied with the Pats and Jets. What has resulted is a three way tie for the division, with the Bills barely alive at 6-7. Statistically, the Dolphins can take the division no matter what, if they win all their remaining games. Hopefully that does not happen and the Patriots sweep through instead. The Patriots look to have the easiest remaining schedule, but have had problems winning more than two games in a row this season.
Wildcard hopes are slim with Indianapolis and Baltimore winning, but it is still possible. Right now, the Patriots just need to focus on winning games, and see how they squeeze out in the end.

Week 13-Steel Defense

The Patriots got utterly wiped out last Sunday against the Pittsburgh Steelers. The Patriots started out strong, in the first quarter, but then floundered miserably the rest of the game. It was rainy, it was wet, and slippery, and just plain bad weather. Not to use that as an excuse, as the Steelers had to play in the exact same thing, but I do think our chances may have been slightly better in good weather. But hey, we can say that in any case and it doesn't matter. What matters is it did rain, and we lost real bad. The Patriots headed into the half tied at ten. What was bad, was that the Pats missed three chances in the endzone and a field goal right before the end of the half. Once they returned at the half, the Patriots never score again. They committed five total turnovers and allowed the Steelers to rack up twenty-three unanswered points.
Though the loss was painful, the Patriots lucked out with the New York Jets losing to the Broncos at the same time. This keeps the Patriots only one game behind with four games left in the season. The Patriots need to get their act together, because their playoff chances are getting dimmer, and they can't allow another loss. They play three losing teams out of their last four, so they should easily be able to fly through and take four wins...hopefully. We still have a chance of going 11-5 as a final record, and playoffs or not, that isn't bad without Tom Brady as our quarterback. Go Pats!

Exist, I Do

Ah, the warmth is gone and the snow has fallen. Because of this, my internet usage abilities have faded fast. I used to be able to venture outside my house for a bit of wifi for me laptop, but those days have long gone since snow decided to invade, so many apologies for the lack of posting lately. I still exist and am planning on at least updating weeklyish.
Currently I am finishing up my first semester of college, cranking out research papers, giant bio exams, and pointless power-points. Fun stuff. Hopefully gonna get a car someday soon here. Ummm..... oh, I'm 19 now, woot woot! :)
Just got off an awesome Thanksgiving, where I managed to eat quite a few slices of pie, at least two of each. Gotta have lotsa pie. We only had three people over for thanksgiving this here which is unusual, but it was nice to have a smaller crow. More food for me anyway. :D
God is doing wonderful things in my life right now. He's helping me get through my school, take everything day to day, and blessing me with awesome friends and family. This month has been a month of true thanksgiving. Praise God for His blessings and mercy! His love is so incredible. I've been really digesting the fact of how much he cares about everything about us. Each tiny facet of our lives is known to Him, even the cruddy stuff, and He STILL loves us all the same. That is just so awesome. \m/
Oh and I've been able to get some nice new pics with my camera, mostly of friends and what-not. Enjoy.

Sam and Jonathan Sinclair, having a moment

Thomas Sinclair and Sam, again

Joel Being Joel

Kirstie, Sam, and me dad
Beth, in 'Hide' mode
Me and m'lady
Cool picture of the Joel
Da sky
Cool tree I found down the road from my house

Oh Spirit Send A Revival To This Nation

As hard as it is to comprehend Obama as the new president of the United States. With as little inexperience as he has, being pro-choice, and pushing to pull out of Iraq, one wonders where our once great country is headed.
But in all the suckiness I am filled with currently, I must realize that God IS in control. Wherever this nation is headed, and whatever God has planned for the future, it is the right thing. He runs the show behind the curtains, and He works His perfect plan at all times. We don't truly know what is going to happen, or how it will happen, and probably why it happens. But, nothing exceeds his reign. Nothing at all. Praise God for the people in this country that still believe in Him, and follow Him.
I am reminded of a worship song that has to be one of my favorites. It is called Breathe on Us Again. It goes as follows:

Breathe On Us Again

O Lord hear, O Lord forgive us.
We have lost the awe of You.
Have mercy, have mercy.

O Lord, cleanse
Our hearts which are divided.
Stir the faith that we once knew
We're thirsty, we're thirsty.

O Lord restore
The church that bears Your name.
O Spirit send
A revival to this nation.

Breathe on us again,
Breathe on us again.

Our country needs a revival so painfully bad. We have far from slipped over the edge, and I wonder how much God will allow the country to last as it is. Maybe this election is a turning point in some shape or form? For good or bad? Who knows, but God's people need to rise, and be the true leaders of the earth. Not those of the world. We need a revival, and we need it now.