Surrender

Wow, I had a wake-up call this morning. This pit I've been in for the past three weeks has seemed to have persisted and not let up. This has led to me being more and more confused, doubtful, and just not a happy dude. It had led me to really shake in doubt and become scared. I was questioning myself, and my salvation, and whether or not I was even a part of God's plan anymore. Doubts and confusion were all over me and it was utterly terrible.
I had had glimpses of sorta waking up and snapping out of it, and that was at one point when I wrote the previous post, but I quickly got down again and felt empty once more. I was still not enjoying anything and I had slowed in my prayers and felt like they were going nowhere.
But God is faithful, and He puts us through trials to teach us and strengthen us. Praise God for that! It occurred to me, while in this pit, that I had barely been reading my Bible. This should have been a bit of an obvious problem to me, but through my walk, I had sorta used the Bible as a reference, or like a guide book. Never actually reading it through that much. And I had done ok, spiritually my walk seemed fine for a while. But I believe that this shake over I've gone through was a way of God sorta saying, "Okay Dave, time to actually start reading my Word, and start to learn now. So, get to it!" And it's been a wonderful solution to my doubts. Ever since I have, I've felt my spirit sorta begin to breath again, like life had returned. It's kinda weird but it's an awesome feeling. I needed to surrender over what I wanted to do, and how I was feeling, and just listen to, and look at what God has done for me.
Surrendering is so awesome. God is sovereign, and He rules over everything we go through. Even though we can sometimes feel dead and far away from Him, He is so never far from us. He brings us through things to build us up, and He never ever breaks us down. He knows what we need, and He cares for us with so much love.
He can, and will test our faith. And in the end, it's him that gets us through the rough times in life. Praise Him! :D

Rescue is Coming

Man, nothing better than making through life's tunnels. I recently went through about a two to three week stretch of what felt like spiritual loneliness. It was utterly terrible. I couldn't find joy in anything I did. The light was dimmed in my life, and I felt that I was beyond eternal salvation. Most of the time, at church and when praying, it felt like I was just going through the motions and my prayers hit deaf ears. I felt numb and lost. It was like the spiritual part of me was abandoned.
Well, I wanna encourage anyone who ever goes through times like that, when you're full of doubt, depression, and despair, to just hang on. Hold on to the hope that He will rescue you. Hope is the greatest thing we have, and through it we can spring a new in Him. I found that the simple belief and hope that He reigns above me and it all, and has plans for me whether I accept them or not was strong enough to knock me out of my lameness. It's all about losing yourself and letting God run the show. Giving oneself up is one of the greatest things anyone can ever do.
Ya can't run from Him, cause that gets ya nowhere. I just want to encourage anyone that if you feel trapped, or doubtful, or lost, to be strong and full of joy, because either way, you got the only perfect thing that has ever existed controlling and delivering your life. Rescue is on it's way. Praise Him, glory in the highest! :)

Got the Direction...Now To Find the Path

As promised, I was going to talk about what I'm looking to do here in the coming yearish area of my life. It's been a revolving paradox of turns and twists so far but here is where I'm at currently;
A year ago I was taking steps towards becoming an entomologist. I had wanted to get into that for quite sometime, since I was real young. I had some things working towards it, including a PHD entomologist who had been tutoring me.
But as I progressed, photography began to grow as a desire I had for some sort of career/hobby. It came to pass that I was rather torn between the two. I couldn't makeup my mind as to which one I wanted to pursue.
But recently, through much prayer and a few knocks on the head, God showed me how much I could grow in Him instead. For a few years now, my passion for playing and being a part of worship music has grown and grown. Up to this point, it's become sort of a spiritual channel for me to get on-tune with the Lord. It's great! And though I have wanted to do the other things for a while, they look dim now when compared to rocking for God in some shape or form. Deep down, I just want to serve Him the best I can. Cause in the long run, He's all there is to live for.
I feel that God wants me to be in some part of His eternal story. I want to be part of it, and I wanna rock for Him as much as I can. I feel evangelism in some shape or form is where I belong.
Please keep me in prayer. Prayer for direction and wisdom. There are days where I feel like it's all coming together, and days where I feel like a crazy person who has lost his blessed mind under a rock somewhere. Thanks for everything and God bless! :)

Spring Is Here

So with spring officially here and no more snow, I decided to throw out some new pictures I've taken over the past month. I'm really enjoying taking pictures and am having fun with it. Whether a career or just something on the side, photography has really caught my eye. Though it seems like I'm not gonna be going into photography for the long run.(I'll talk about that next time.)

Here are some of my favorites from my latest ventures.

My dog, Oliver

The cats, Rachel, and Herbert
Waterfall in Laconia

Awesome structure thing I found near the waterfall

Some cool tracks

Puddles

What better to close with my nutty bro, Sam
(Picture taken by Beth Crandall)

Soli Deo Gloria

Of all the things in my life, amazing or painful, You Lord, are the most precious. You reach into my life and speak to my soul as you direct the ways I go. You are The Eternal Story, the Holy One, and You fulfill all my needs. You forgive me and cleanse me over and over. You wash away my sins with a mighty wave, never to see them again. You love me beyond anything, and You cherish me for who I am. Your love goes further than anything, and by your everlasting grace, I am saved. I am held back from death, and instead lifted up and brought into Your Holy place.
Time passes, and everywhere I go, it leads to You. To say that the world cries out the evidence of Your name is an understatement. You are everywhere. The universe declares your majesty, by night and day. I will not worry, for You control the world, you have the blueprints to my life and You know all that I am, and all that I'm going through. I will wait on you Lord.
I ask for Your direction, and Your guidance. I pray that I would not stray from Your word, but instead be built up by it. I ask that I would glorify You with everything I do. It's all about You. I pray for protection against my enemies, and wisdom to reach out to them.
Lord, I am so unworthy. I tremble. Your majesty is beyond words and I lift You up with the utmost glory. I want to lose everything for You. You are worth it all. Nothing else matters. You are all I ever needed, and You fill me up. You are God, and You rock my life. Praise You!
Soli Deo Gloria! Amen.