Heartbeat

God is so awesome! We are blessed everyday from Him, even on our worst days, and we can sometimes not even realize it.
I was struggling through, having a hard time praying one night recently, and I was asking God to basically tell me, or show me, that He really really does love me, even amongst my struggles and wrestling I gave Him. I was feeling confused about a lot of things that night and just needed some clarity. He showed me all I needed to know. I realized that I can feel His love for me anytime I want it, anytime I doubt myself, or feel like crap. Whenever I feel lonely, or unworthy, or I don't know what's going on, He still loves me.
I realized that we all have a steady reminder. A perfect reminder in fact. The Bible says that God sustains us, and that He keeps us going for as long as He wants. We are in His hands, all in perfect synchronization to His perfect plan of course. God holds us together, and fills us when we are hungry, and answers the door when we knock.
What hit me when I was praying, was that my own heartbeat was a testifying proclamation of God's love. It shows that He is keeping us going, keeping the blood flowing in us, even when we are not at our best. He declares that we are worth it to Him, that He wants us to keep up, stay strong, and most importantly, that He still loves us over all that we do against Him. We can deny him so many times, but He will never do that to us. He is unchanging and everlasting.
All you have to do, when confusion and fear takes hold in your mind, and when you feel like you can't go on, is to just put your hand on your chest, and feel His love keeping you going, beating away at His command, because you are worth it to Him, the God of everything. :)

Only You, Lord

I recently stumbled a bit, and shifted my focus from God on to myself. It stinks. Thankfully it wasn't long lived. I got myself re-focused and am praising God for His wonderful love. :) This song is a great prayer, and I just wanted to share it cause it's so awesome! It's called "Only You"

Take my heart, I Lay it down
At the feet of you whose crowned
Take my life, I’m letting go
I lift it up to You who’s throned

And I will worship You, Lord
Only You, Lord
And I will bow down before You
Only You Lord

Take my fret, take my fear
All I have, I’m leaving here
Be all my hopes, be all my dreams
You're my delights, be my everything

And I will worship You, Lord
Only You, Lord
And I will bow down before You
Only You Lord

And It’s just you and me here now
Only you and me here now

You should see the view
When it’s only You

Surrender

Wow, I had a wake-up call this morning. This pit I've been in for the past three weeks has seemed to have persisted and not let up. This has led to me being more and more confused, doubtful, and just not a happy dude. It had led me to really shake in doubt and become scared. I was questioning myself, and my salvation, and whether or not I was even a part of God's plan anymore. Doubts and confusion were all over me and it was utterly terrible.
I had had glimpses of sorta waking up and snapping out of it, and that was at one point when I wrote the previous post, but I quickly got down again and felt empty once more. I was still not enjoying anything and I had slowed in my prayers and felt like they were going nowhere.
But God is faithful, and He puts us through trials to teach us and strengthen us. Praise God for that! It occurred to me, while in this pit, that I had barely been reading my Bible. This should have been a bit of an obvious problem to me, but through my walk, I had sorta used the Bible as a reference, or like a guide book. Never actually reading it through that much. And I had done ok, spiritually my walk seemed fine for a while. But I believe that this shake over I've gone through was a way of God sorta saying, "Okay Dave, time to actually start reading my Word, and start to learn now. So, get to it!" And it's been a wonderful solution to my doubts. Ever since I have, I've felt my spirit sorta begin to breath again, like life had returned. It's kinda weird but it's an awesome feeling. I needed to surrender over what I wanted to do, and how I was feeling, and just listen to, and look at what God has done for me.
Surrendering is so awesome. God is sovereign, and He rules over everything we go through. Even though we can sometimes feel dead and far away from Him, He is so never far from us. He brings us through things to build us up, and He never ever breaks us down. He knows what we need, and He cares for us with so much love.
He can, and will test our faith. And in the end, it's him that gets us through the rough times in life. Praise Him! :D

Rescue is Coming

Man, nothing better than making through life's tunnels. I recently went through about a two to three week stretch of what felt like spiritual loneliness. It was utterly terrible. I couldn't find joy in anything I did. The light was dimmed in my life, and I felt that I was beyond eternal salvation. Most of the time, at church and when praying, it felt like I was just going through the motions and my prayers hit deaf ears. I felt numb and lost. It was like the spiritual part of me was abandoned.
Well, I wanna encourage anyone who ever goes through times like that, when you're full of doubt, depression, and despair, to just hang on. Hold on to the hope that He will rescue you. Hope is the greatest thing we have, and through it we can spring a new in Him. I found that the simple belief and hope that He reigns above me and it all, and has plans for me whether I accept them or not was strong enough to knock me out of my lameness. It's all about losing yourself and letting God run the show. Giving oneself up is one of the greatest things anyone can ever do.
Ya can't run from Him, cause that gets ya nowhere. I just want to encourage anyone that if you feel trapped, or doubtful, or lost, to be strong and full of joy, because either way, you got the only perfect thing that has ever existed controlling and delivering your life. Rescue is on it's way. Praise Him, glory in the highest! :)

Got the Direction...Now To Find the Path

As promised, I was going to talk about what I'm looking to do here in the coming yearish area of my life. It's been a revolving paradox of turns and twists so far but here is where I'm at currently;
A year ago I was taking steps towards becoming an entomologist. I had wanted to get into that for quite sometime, since I was real young. I had some things working towards it, including a PHD entomologist who had been tutoring me.
But as I progressed, photography began to grow as a desire I had for some sort of career/hobby. It came to pass that I was rather torn between the two. I couldn't makeup my mind as to which one I wanted to pursue.
But recently, through much prayer and a few knocks on the head, God showed me how much I could grow in Him instead. For a few years now, my passion for playing and being a part of worship music has grown and grown. Up to this point, it's become sort of a spiritual channel for me to get on-tune with the Lord. It's great! And though I have wanted to do the other things for a while, they look dim now when compared to rocking for God in some shape or form. Deep down, I just want to serve Him the best I can. Cause in the long run, He's all there is to live for.
I feel that God wants me to be in some part of His eternal story. I want to be part of it, and I wanna rock for Him as much as I can. I feel evangelism in some shape or form is where I belong.
Please keep me in prayer. Prayer for direction and wisdom. There are days where I feel like it's all coming together, and days where I feel like a crazy person who has lost his blessed mind under a rock somewhere. Thanks for everything and God bless! :)

Spring Is Here

So with spring officially here and no more snow, I decided to throw out some new pictures I've taken over the past month. I'm really enjoying taking pictures and am having fun with it. Whether a career or just something on the side, photography has really caught my eye. Though it seems like I'm not gonna be going into photography for the long run.(I'll talk about that next time.)

Here are some of my favorites from my latest ventures.

My dog, Oliver

The cats, Rachel, and Herbert
Waterfall in Laconia

Awesome structure thing I found near the waterfall

Some cool tracks

Puddles

What better to close with my nutty bro, Sam
(Picture taken by Beth Crandall)

Soli Deo Gloria

Of all the things in my life, amazing or painful, You Lord, are the most precious. You reach into my life and speak to my soul as you direct the ways I go. You are The Eternal Story, the Holy One, and You fulfill all my needs. You forgive me and cleanse me over and over. You wash away my sins with a mighty wave, never to see them again. You love me beyond anything, and You cherish me for who I am. Your love goes further than anything, and by your everlasting grace, I am saved. I am held back from death, and instead lifted up and brought into Your Holy place.
Time passes, and everywhere I go, it leads to You. To say that the world cries out the evidence of Your name is an understatement. You are everywhere. The universe declares your majesty, by night and day. I will not worry, for You control the world, you have the blueprints to my life and You know all that I am, and all that I'm going through. I will wait on you Lord.
I ask for Your direction, and Your guidance. I pray that I would not stray from Your word, but instead be built up by it. I ask that I would glorify You with everything I do. It's all about You. I pray for protection against my enemies, and wisdom to reach out to them.
Lord, I am so unworthy. I tremble. Your majesty is beyond words and I lift You up with the utmost glory. I want to lose everything for You. You are worth it all. Nothing else matters. You are all I ever needed, and You fill me up. You are God, and You rock my life. Praise You!
Soli Deo Gloria! Amen.

Unfailing Grace

God's grace is so good!
I recently have sorta been knocked on the head with it though. Sometimes, I go through times where I wonder if God really does forgive me for my sins, whether I'm even worth anything to Him. I feel as though He is there for anyone else, except me. Leading me to feel alone, and unworthy(Though we are unworthy of His love. Glory to Him for giving it anyway!). And though the obvious truth is that He is there for me, I almost unknowingly become blind to it. I bring God down to a level as to where I imagine He is a God that breaks His promises of total forgiveness. And when I do that, I struggle, and I feel distant from Him.
This then leads to confusion, and a more increased feeling of aloneness. I become numb to the obvious fact that He is there, whether I want Him or not. I push Him away even though it's the last thing I want to do.
But thanks to his constant reminding, and patience with me, He reveals to me His love, and how much He gives me in spite of my sin. His patience is unrivaled! He sees me continue to fall, lie, and just plain be so unworthy, and yet He forgives, and forgets, and just reminds me of how much He loves me. And man, that goes a long way. I know I'm bound to fall again in the future, but these experiences help to remind me, and get me back on track.
This leaded me to realize something. I'm blown away by the fact of how often we live our lives oblivious to the grace that is placed on us. What honestly is stopping God from throwing us all into Hell and starting over? What are we really worth? What have we done to earn His favor? The answer is nothing. We sin so much, and in such terrible ways. Yet, by His grace, and love for us, we live on. He has made us, and although we go against Him by our very nature, He blesses us, and gives us so much more than we deserve. It really is an incredible thing. Humbling to say the least. How can we boast of anything? We don't deserve a thing, let alone life itself.
However he loves us, and He fights for us. He is there when we need Him, and He is there when we don't think we need Him. It's unfailing grace, and unfailing love, and He has given it to us freely. With open arms He accepts us as we are, washing us and making us new again.
For that, I follow Him with a humble heart, understanding that there isn't anything I can do that will turn His love. Knowing that He has the blueprints for my entire life in the palm of His hand, and He remains the great Author of our lives forever. Amen.

Hallelujah, to the Lord of Heaven and Earth

My church recently started playing the song 'God of Wonders' during our worship session. I really got into the song, and quickly learned it on the drums. Coincidentally, we just finished Family Life's The Truth Project, and they incorporated the song with a cool video. I liked it and happened to stumble on it on Youtube. Enjoy. :D

The Pale Blue Planet

Yesterday I had the opportunity to watch a DVD called 'Indescribable' with my Youth Group. It was incredible.
It took the example of a vast huge universe created by God, and truly put in context. Sure, I figured the vacuum of space was wicked big and insurmountable. But, this movie showed me how much there is, and how much more there is. Ugh, it hurts my head thinking about it, but it's great at the same time.
One particular portion of the video caught my eye, when it showed a picture taken by Voyager 1. What happened was, when the spacecraft was drifting out of reach of our control from here on earth, the NASA dudes had Voyager 1 turn around for one last series of shots. It took sixty consecutive pictures as it spanned across all of where it had come from. One of the pictures, labeled The pale blue planet was beamed back, across space, from the spacecraft to Earth. And it really struck me. Here it is.
What appears to be black space with sun rays bouncing off of the spacecraft is actually a lot more. It's hard to see, but in the farthest right ray of sun, there is a tiny tiny blue dot in the middle of the light, It's earth, taken from over 3 billion miles away.
This is an enlarged shot, showing the bright spec, suspended in the light. What hit me, was how, deep deep in space, a piece of machinery was able to capture a picture of Earth, showing how small it really is, and how unimportant it is. That although so many lives, wars, people, and events have transpired in the history of our entire existence, we are nothing but a small pixel in an image so vast.
I was so taken aback by the thought, that after I got home from the movie, I raced out and got more and more information on the picture. It fascinated me so much. This picture should define how we live our lives in Christ.
All sin is rooted in selfishness, and doing things for ourselves. But how the heck can we even dare boast of ourselves, and think of sinning when in reality, and all honesty, we are barely even a blip in space. How can we dare betray His name? In His awesome glory? Yet, we all sin, and we are all truly pathetic creatures. Even on our small pebble in the sky, barely visible, we spit on the name of God and defy him with everything we are.
But, what took me the most, was that even in our bitter defiance, he rains down a beam of golden light on us. He came and died for us, giving us a chance to live with Him forever. The whole universe declares His glory, day in and day out, never ceasing. But we are corrupted by sin. And us, being basically the most rebellious thing in His creation(Yet the most precious to Him) are covered by His love. Wow. It just fell upon me last night.
The fact that even in our sin, our selfishness, our insignificantness in space as a whole, we are the most important thing to Him. That picture only more clearly clarified that for me, and I'm thankful for it. Praise God! :D

How It Should Have Ended

Sort of stumbled on this group of dudes that make these videos and comics. They make little short films on how movies "Should have ended." It's great, and I found them wicked funny.
http://www.howitshouldhaveended.com

Spiritual Slump

Lately, it seems I've either been under an attack from Satan, or I'm doing something that God is trying to show me, thus putting me through a trial. Could be both. I'm not sure what else to call it, but it's like I'm in a spiritual slump.
My prayer life has been harder to keep up with, and seems to be more of a burden, I'm not as aware, and everything I do or go through seems distorted and hazy. I get rather depressed as well. I'm inclined to think Satan is after me, cause it's an attack that would keep me from uplifting things I need to be in prayer for. I also get a feeling of being lost, and distant from Him. It's weird, and sort of imposes a feeling of heaviness. It's hard to explain.
If I could get prayer for it, that would be awesome. I dunno what's up, but It's starting to wear on me and slow me down. It happens ever once in a while, hard to say when, but it tends to last for about a week sometimes. Thanks muchly.

Wonder Of The World

Over the past year, I really have grown to love worship music. Mostly because it has become a kind of Spiritual getaway for me. I can just blast songs that just give it all to God, and they help me to communicate to Him in a way.
Lately, the band that really has helped me grow and connect with the Lord is the band call Rush Of Fools. My friend, Mike, got me into 'em and I haven't stopped listening to them. I posted one of their music videos many posts ago and am posting their newest video to share the awesomeness. The song is called 'Wonder of the World." It's the title of their new album. It's not my favorite song, but it's got a great message.